Summary:

Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 16, Verses 1-3:

Apaiśunam (absence of slander/calumny): Gossip or speaking ill of others, poisons your mind. It reveals an agitated state of mind. Gossip is cowards way to pacify it quickly and feel better about yourself. Counter slander by mentally listing three good qualities of the person hurting you and praying for their helplessness in confusion.

Dayā (compassion/empathy): This is a spontaneous response to remove another's suffering when you have the means to do so. It requires viveka (discrimination) to determine what truly helps versus what merely appears helpful. Compassion only comes when there is viveka + one's mind is relatively pure.

Aloluptvam (absence of longing): Freedom from the lie that objects can complete you. Greed is insatiable hunger that grows by feeding – like fire that never says “enough.” The wise enjoy objects when available without dependence or anxiety about their loss, knowing they're much bigger then the object or experience.

Mārdavam (softness): Mental flexibility free from rigidity. This is gentleness born of understanding, not weakness – like a reed that bends without breaking. Convert “What!” to “So what! What's next?” by seeing people acting from misguided ideas rather than evil intent.

Hrīḥ (modesty/humility): This is a byproduct of having accurate self-assessment, recognizing skills as Īśvara's blessings, and keeping in mind the bigger picture. Humility is neither self-deprecation nor self-inflation – all accomplishments flow through you, not from you. Every advantage is borrowed from teachers, ancestors, and grace.

Acāpalam (absence of physical agitation): Freedom from restlessness. A composed mind naturally expresses through a poised body. Body leaks what the mind hides through nervous fidgeting.

Tejaḥ (brilliance): Inner radiance when intellect and emotions work in harmony through viveka (discrimination), emotional steadiness, saintliness, and inspired action. This is the glow of integrated personality.

Kṣamā (composure/equanimity): Capacity to remain unshaken by favorable or unfavorable circumstances. This comes from recognizing you can't afford to rub against universal order. Convert “Why me?” to “What now?”. Think solution mode.

Dhṛtiḥ (fortitude/persistence): Unwavering resolve in pursuing worthy goals. What seems impossible becomes achievable through persistence.

Śaucam (cleanliness): Mental purity prerequisite for clear thinking. Internal cleanliness removes self-centeredness that disregards others, resentment from ruminating past events, harsh self-criticism, and envy/jealously that creates confusion in you whether you like or dislike the skill.

Adroha (no thought of hurting): Not taking pleasure in others' misfortune or actively wishing them harm. When someone who wronged you faces difficulties, resist thinking “He deserves it” or feeling secretly satisfied. Deriving satisfaction from others' suffering corrupts your peace of mind.

Nātimānitā (no exaggerated self-opinion): Freedom from excessive pride. Remember skills belong to Īśvara and your success depends on countless unseen contributors.

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VERSE 1-3: Values that lead to your freedom and clarity

श्रीभगवान् उवाच
अभयम् सत्त्व-संशुद्धिः ज्ञान-योग-व्यवस्थितिः ।
दानम् दमः च यज्ञः च स्वाध्यायः तपः आर्जवम् ॥ १६-१॥
अहिंसा सत्यम् अक्रोधः त्यागः शान्तिः अपैशुनम् ।
दया भूतेषु अलोलुप्त्वम् मार्दवम् ह्रीः अचापलम् ॥ १६-२॥
तेजः क्षमा धृतिः शौचम् अद्रोहः न अति-मानिता ।
भवन्ति सम्पदम् दैवीम् अभिजातस्य भारत ॥ १६-३॥
śrībhagavān uvāca
abhayam sattva-saṃśuddhiḥ jñāna-yoga-vyavasthitiḥ ।
dānam damaḥ ca yajñaḥ ca svādhyāyaḥ tapaḥ ārjavam ॥ 16-1॥
ahiṃsā satyam akrodhaḥ tyāgaḥ śāntiḥ apaiśunam ।
dayā bhūteṣu aloluptvam mārdavam hrīḥ acāpalam ॥ 16-2॥
tejaḥ kṣamā dhṛtiḥ śaucam adrohaḥ na ati-mānitā ।
bhavanti sampadam daivīm abhijātasya bhārata ॥ 16-3॥

Śrī Bhagavān said:
Bhārata (Arjuna)! Freedom from fear, purity of mind, steadiness in contemplation, charity, judicious restraint (of sense organs), performing rituals, recitation of one’s own branch of the Veda, religious discipline (austerity), alignment of thought, word, and deed…

…absence of hurting, truthfulness, resolution of anger, renunciation, resolution of the mind, absence of calumny, compassion for living beings, absence of ardent longing, softness, modesty, absence of physical agitation…

…brilliance, composure, fortitude, cleanliness, no thought of hurting, and no exaggerated self opinion—all these are there for the one who is born to the wealth of devas.

In previous session, we discussed: (8) Tapas – discipline/austerities/mind-management, (9) Ārjavam (straightforwardness/alignment/authenticity), (10) Ahimsa – minimizing hurting, (11) Satyam – truthfulness, (12) Akrodha – resolving anger/resentment, (13) Tyāga – renunciation, (14) Śānti – resolution of mind/acceptance of what is.

Let's continue…

15. Apaiśunam (absence of slander/abuse/defamation/calumny):

Ever noticed how gossip feels like ‘winning’ in the moment but leaves a bitter aftertaste? That’s your conscience recognizing poison. Gossip isn’t just harmful to others – it poisons your own mind first.

Other times it comes out: When someone feels powerless, they often suppress hurt. The moment they gain power, or some leverage – latent anger erupts as gossip or slander. Meaning, something was unresolved all along.

If someone is slandering you…

• 1. Flip the script. Mentally list three good qualities of the person who hurt you. Breaks the illusion that the other is “all bad”.
  2. Pray for them because they are helpless in their confusion, and pain, and they're coping by projecting it onto you. They’re already suffering. Your empathy (not pity) for their helplessness at least frees you, and helps you take it less personally.

16. Dayā (compassion / empathy):

Suppose you were having a debate, and your hair caught fire. Would you put it out? Yes. Compassion is doing that for another. Not only feeling their pain (which is empathy), but acting upon it (which is compassion).

Empathy is innate – like instinctively tending to a hurt finger. It is Ishvara’s design that binds us in shared humanity. We suppress it due to saṃskāras (past impressions) or inconvenience (ie. “Their karma is theirs; why interfere?”).

You needn’t fix others’ karma, but don't verbally tell yourself, “I won't act because they deserve it!”, because you don't know why they're going through that.

How to know you failed to act upon your compassion (reaching out to help)? It'll fester as self-justification, “I couldn’t or can't help because ___”.  Right action needs no justification. Justification only follows when you don't do what is to be done.

Compassion vs. Pity: A mother’s tough love (denying junk food) is compassion. Pity would let the child eat and suffer later.

17. Bhūteṣu aloluptvaṁ (absence of longing):

Longing whispers “Without this, I’m incomplete” – a lie that ties your happiness to objects. In truth, no upādhi can make your existence better.

Fire Metaphor: Desire is like fire – it never says “enough”. Enjoying desired objects fuels it further.

Waiting for objects to “complete” you makes the present a means to an end – a recipe for lifelong dissatisfaction, because no object has power to complete you permanently and enough. 

18. Mārdavam (softness):

Softness isn’t just external politeness – it’s a mind free from rigidity. Like a flower petal, it bends without breaking. You're giving yourself some margin for error, less strict with how things should be. 

Examples of softness:

1. 1. When someone criticizes you, instead of reacting with “What! How dare they?”, get curious this time and ask them why they think that. 
   2. See challenges as opportunities, not personal attacks.
   3. Convert “What!” to “So what! What’s next?”.

What brings softness is seeing world is inherently a good place. People are not out there to actively do evil, they act out of misguided ideas; if they knew any better, they'd do the right thing. 

19. Hrīḥ (modesty / humility / not showing off):

1. Modesty is not having an exaggerated “I sense”:
   1. Low I-sense: “I’m inadequate” → Constant anxiety, seeking validation.
   2. High I-sense: “I’m superior” → Demands respect, blinds you to others’ worth.
   3. Healthy I-sense: Acknowledge your skills are Ishvara’s blessings, and contributions of others you never met.
2. The Trap of Privilege: Every skill, beauty, or advantage you have is a gift from Īśvara – not a personal achievement. The moment you forget this, you’ve separated yourself from Ishvara.
3. Modesty is Rare:  How many accomplished people treat janitors and CEOs with equal warmth? Few. Humility isn’t self-deprecation (“I’m no good”) or self-inflation (“I’m better”) – it’s seeing your gifts/skills/advantage/beauty as borrowed from a web of teachers, ancestors, and grace. EG: A candle doesn’t boast of its light; it just burns. Likewise, your talents are meant to illuminate, not intimidate.

20. Acāpalam (absence of physical agitation):

Acāpalam isn’t forced stillness. It’s natural poise when energy is consciously directed.

Example: A student sits still but their leg shakes or fingers fidget – this is “energy leakage” – it drains focus. Or clenched jaw = hidden resistance. Body leaks what the mind hides.

21. Tejaḥ (brilliance):

Not just “intelligence,” but both intellect and emotions are working in harmony.

4 Pillars of Tejaḥ:

1. 1. Logical Discernment (viveka): Skill to discriminate between what lifts you and what drains you long term. EG: Choosing meditation over late-night scrolling is viveka in action.
   2. Emotional Intelligence: Steadiness when praised or criticized.
   3. Saintliness (suhṛt-bhāva): More than “being nice.” It’s wishing well even for those who irritate you – like a sun that shines on all indiscriminately.
   4. Inspired Action (karma-yoga): Brilliance isn’t passive! It’s using your gifts to uplift others.

22. Kṣamā (composure / equanimity):

Doesn’t mean being non-reactive as that’s impossible. But re-understanding the universe – seeing the bigger picture.

This is attained by recognizing you can’t afford to rub against the order. Do the right thing even when don’t feel like it.

EG: Projecting ugliness onto a slow driver infront of you may be satisfying, but it spoils your state of mind. Recognizing the consequence, you turn to mardavam (softness), or shanti (not arguing reality). 

Another method is maintain equanimity in difficult situations is to convert, “Why me?” → “What now?”. It avoids victimhood, and keeps you useful. 

Five practical sources of composure according to Bhagavad Gita:

1. 1. Karma Yoga understanding: Recognizing you only have control over action, never results (2.47). This removes anxiety about outcomes and disappointment when things don't go as planned. Focus shifts from “Will this work?” to “Am I doing my best?”
   2. Seeing the bigger picture: Understanding that all experiences – pleasant and unpleasant – are temporary waves in the ocean of existence (2.14). This means recognizing that your current job stress, relationship conflict, or financial worry is just one chapter in a much longer story. The breakup that feels devastating now will become just a memory, and the failure you're obsessing over will fade into background noise. This perspective prevents being overwhelmed by current circumstances, because “this too shall pass.”
   3. Surrendering results to Īśvara: Offering all actions and their fruits to the divine order (18.57). This means doing your job well then letting go of whether you get the promotion, studying hard then accepting whatever grade comes, or giving your best presentation without obsessing over the client's decision. This creates composure because you're no longer betting on outcomes you can't control – you did your part, now let the universe handle the rest.
   4. Cultivating sama-buddhi (equal vision): Developing the capacity to see both praise and blame, gain and loss as equal (2.48), because they're in reference to your body-mind, not you (Awareness), and they're more about the person who praised/insulted, rather then yourself. 
   5. Developing witness consciousness: Establishing yourself as the observer of thoughts and emotions without identifying with them (2.20). Like watching clouds pass through an unchanging sky, you remain the constant witness to all mental modifications. 

23. Dhṛtiḥ (fortitude / persistence / determination):

Story of the Persistent Mousebird and the Golden Chain

In a dense forest, there lived a mousebird named Chitranetra who had built her nest in the hollow of an ancient banyan tree. One day, while searching for food, she spotted something glimmering in the waters of a lake. Looking closer, she discovered a golden chain that had likely fallen from some wealthy traveler.

“This would make my nest the envy of all birds,” thought Chitranetra. She swooped down to retrieve it, but the chain was too heavy for her small body to lift.

Instead of giving up, Chitranetra devised a plan. “I will remove one link at a time,” she decided. Day after day, she flew to the lake, working tirelessly to break off a single golden link with her beak.

The other forest animals laughed at her efforts.

“Foolish bird,” mocked the monkey. “You could spend your entire life and never move that chain.”

“Why waste your energy?” said the turtle. “Accept what is beyond your reach.”

Even her fellow mousebirds advised her to abandon the task. “There are easier treasures to find,” they said.

But Chitranetra responded, “What seems impossible in a single attempt becomes possible through persistent effort. The bamboo does not reach the sky in one day, but grows steadily until it towers above all else.”

Months passed. Through monsoon rains and scorching heat, Chitranetra continued her work. Finally, she succeeded in breaking off one golden link, then another, and another.

Over a year later, Chitranetra had transported the entire chain to her nest, link by link. When a terrible storm swept through the forest, destroying many nests, Chitranetra used the golden links to secure her home to the branches. While other birds lost their dwellings, hers remained intact.

The animals who had mocked her now came seeking shelter and wisdom.

“The difference between the possible and impossible, is simply determination. One step at a time”, Chitranetra told them.

24. Śaucam (cleanliness):

External cleanliness (bahyam shaucam):

External environment is clean as it affects the mind.

Internal cleanliness (antah shaucam):

4 things that contaminate the mind:

1. Self-centeredness:
   • The question, “What’s in it for me? How does it benefit me? How will this please me?” – is natural to all because everyone is interested in one’s well-being. However this narrative becomes unhealthy when the answer to those questions disregards the well-being of others. Harmony is inclusive, it doesn't disregarding impact of actions on others.  The opposite extreme of self-centeredness is total selflessness, which is disregards your own needs.
2. Resentment:
   1. Events that happened years ago continued to be ruminated upon, which keeps them alive.
   2. Solution:
      1. See the helplessness of that person. They didn't know any better at that time.
      2. Don't allow emotional walls be built because of what one person did in the past.
      3. Andre’s way is to see his mind like a temple, and thoughts are like unwanted visitors, then tells them firmly, “You don’t have permission to enter!”, as many times as needed until they get the message.
3. Self-Criticism:
   1. Everyone has an inner voice assessing one's performance. The quality of that inner voice determines the relationship with yourself (ie: influences self-esteem), world and others. Sometimes, it can be harsh, impatient and critical. 
   2. EG: “Who will love me? Who will find me attractive? I’m not worthy of being heard. People will take advantage of me.  I'm too old, young“.  Or you get 97% on test and beat yourself up over 3%.
   3. Solution: Realize your relative self will never be perfect. Remind yourself of your strengths.
4. Jealously / Envy:
   1. Everyone has a coping mechanism to manage the feeling of smallness/insecurity. One day, someone comes and shakes your core by demonstrating excellence in an area you value. You recognize they have more, or better then you. Consequently their presence makes you feel even smaller. First thing mind does to cope with this abnormal discomfort is to mentally write them off, which makes you return to your normal discomfort.
   2. Jealously, or envy shows you value that skill/talent/area, but haven’t developed it fully in yourself. Thus mind criticizes the person to avoid accepting “I didn’t have the courage and determination to go after it and develop it in myself”. Cost of jealousy is it creates a conflict whether you like or dislike the skill/talent.
   3. How to correct:
      1. First, acknowledge, “I’m feeling jealous/envious”. And if it continues, you're creating a confusion in your mind whether you like/dislike it.
      2. Walk up to them:  Say to them, “I admire your skill”. This small gesture will instantly cut the fuel to jealousy. 
      3. BG CH10: Whenever you see something inspiring, remember it’s Ishvara’s glory.
      4. Convert to motivation: Acknowledge that person has worked harder then you. Use them as motivation/inspiration.
      5. Your value is much greater: Understand you’re not intrinsically less just because someone is better. You are much more then just one skill.

25. Adroha (no thought of hurting):

Opposite of adroha is to derive pleasure from others misery. It’s unhealthy as spoils your natural program of empathy.

Adroha is not actively wishing harm on others, even when they've wronged you. This means catching yourself before thinking “I hope he gets fired”, or feeling secretly pleased when someone who cut you off in traffic gets pulled over. It's resisting the urge to say “He deserves it” when hearing about someone's misfortune, even if they treated you badly.

Adroha protects your empathy and prevents you from becoming the kind of person who finds satisfaction in others' pain – which ultimately corrupts your own peace of mind.

For instance, when you go through pain, you're thinking, “What have I done to deserve this!”, while someone without adroha is thinking, “You deserve it”.  It shows the critic is not empathizing, but operating from their own pressures.  Think twice before saying, “He deserves it!”.

26. Nātimānitā (no exaggerated self opinion):

When circumstances bring you extraordinary knowledge, talent, fame, power, or wealth – it can become a source of unhealthy pride, “I have done it! I am so lucky! I’m better”.

Unhealthy pride makes you derive satisfaction by comparing yourself to others, and even start demanding to be treated with respect. You become overly sensitive upon signs of disrespect.

How to Stay Grounded:

• 1. Remember that every skill/knowledge you have belongs to Ishvara, the original owner. You've only come to possess it for 80+- years.
  2. Remember that your success and well-being is because of many people who helped you, including the laws, and foods planted from farmers you’ve never met.

Example showing absence of natimanita and problems it creates: Dating apps have contributed to inflating some young women's sense of self-worth through constant validation from numerous matches and messages. The surge of online attention creates an unrealistic perception of their romantic market value, fostering a sense of entitlement that becomes their default self-image – which erodes basic humility and groundedness.

NEXT VERSES:  Rest of chapter is about asuri-sampati, consequences of not having taken initiative to cultivate daivi-sampati.

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Recorded 10 July, 2025