What I am Supposed to Do? What is My Duty (Svadharma)?
INQUIRER:
It became clear to me that to be really peaceful and content, I need to be in alignment with the way things are, finding my mission.
The quest for svadharma is on for a while, however I could not find any clues, and honestly I do not know a way of tracking it, besides asking a question, “What Am I suppose to do?”
RESPONSE:
Your ‘real’ mission is to remove the ignorance of your true nature through self-inquiry and realize your true identity as whole and complete.
You don’t really have to quest after your svadharma.
Your natural way of being (how behave, what one thinks, how one expresses feelings, one's natural interest) — will shine forth on its own when one is no longer worried about what other people will think — whether or not you are acceptable by pursuing your interests in the way that feels right for you.
This is not a license to act compulsively, indulgently, and without regard for the well-being of others.
You should exercise self-restraint and discretion with regard to your conduct.
But you should also realize that you cannot, nor is it your responsibility to please everyone else at the expense of what you feel called to do.
There is a balance to be struck, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your duty to yourself, which is essentially what svadharma is.
Perhaps the most important question to ask yourself in this light is “Which self am I serving?”
The lower self (the apparent person; the body-mind complex) or higher self (Awareness; atma)?
When the self (atman) identifies with a particular mind-body-sense complex it apparently forgets itself and takes itself to be that individual and feeling incomplete and inadequate.
Once the misidentification is made, no matter how much it (atma under spell that it's the body-mind) acquires, consumes, and achieves — it will never be satisfied — because its fundamental identity is based on the notion of scarcity/lack.
So get really clear about your true identity before devoting so much time to world-duties svadharma.
Especially since you're over 50. Put higher priority on higher-self svadharma.
For one in their 20's/30's, suggestions would be different.
Although following applies to all ages (until last breath)…
Every person has svadharma inherent. It SHOULD be exercised accordingly on a daily bases — otherwise mind remains in constant stress/guilt for not following it's silent calling.
One suggestion is to walk into a library.
Putting the “spiritual section” aside, what other sections do you walk over to?
Notice what “interest” feels like in the body, as it finds itself in proximity of certain books.
Also notice what “disinterest” feels like.
This way, we learn to be more sensitive to our duties/interests.
INQUIRER:
How to differentiate between intuition (higher calling) and the guises of ego, mind demons?
RESPONSE:
Guises-of-ego entail immediate gratification. Shortcuts. Aim is to please myself, and in that moment the question of others or environment is good as non-existent. And if others are concerned, they are only a means to an end. Future agenda is involved.
Whatever is NOT above, is [likely] voice of intuition.
Voice of intuition is innocent. Clean. Gentle. Friendly. Peaceful.
You'd openly share your voice of intuition to God directly if He were a person and you were standing His court.
You'd feel no fear, shame nor embarrassment if you announced your voice of intuition to the divine mother of the universe.
While guises-of-ego tell “I need something outside myself” to be complete, worthwhile, secure, content, or peaceful.
Sure, there are basic needs required to be met in order to ensure the survival of any apparent person. But if you know that you yourself are the very essence of the creation — one can trust that Isvara will meet one's basic needs.
For instance, Krishna tells Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, “Focus all your attention on me, and I will take care of your getting and keeping.”
The voice of self (if it were to speak) is the voice that reminds you of your true identity is whole and complete right now, right here.
The voice of ego is one that says “I'm inadequate. I'm not enough. I want. I need. I want. I need. I want. More. More. More…”.